Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Leap.

It seems so achievable yet such a task. How often has dad told me to walk up to it without any fear, to look it square in the eye and just take the leap. I never really listened to him. I mean, I did. But applying it was a whole different thing. It had become about reaching new heights and surpassing milestones. Dad was not the kind to push me very hard, always just that encouraging nudge. But today it was a bit more coercive and it really shocked me.
We drive in utter silence, quite normal conversation for us both. However, today his eyes were doing all the talking and more. They shone with resolve. He seems set on giving me that urge to believe, to make me see through his eyes. He did give me strength. Naturally, I doubt how long it would linger before being blown out by my cynicism. He seems more positive than me and it was apparent in his cheering smile. His emotions had come to the fore clearly and it shook me up. He believed in me. He believed I could do it and that it would be me who would be victorious.
Unfortunately, I give in to my fear too often. I get muddled in what ifs and what not and all my hard earned vigor comes to a staggering halt. We continue on our journey, still in that silent daze. I didn’t need to close my eyes to see his eyes radiating hope. Our drive finally comes to an end, so I turn to him and smile. He gently pats my back as he drops me off and solemnly wishes me luck. My smile broadens as I step out of the car. He never came to watch but he never failed to drop me off. It made him too nervous to stay and watch, I assume.
I walk in with a tiny bit of confidence, shaking cause of my nerves and place my bag down. I sit down and pull out my running shoes. I change into them and stay sitting on the ground for a while, still swamped by my anxieties. I need some movement I realize. I get up, warm my body and stretch a bit. I see the other girls doing the same with thrice as much confidence. I must look quite hopeless. I feel like it at least.
Soon I hear the announcement in a gruff male voice demanding the attention of the women in my section. I jog up to the reporting stand. On checking the names I find mine right on top. “Great”, I mutter to myself. I jump to calm myself, start walking to give myself a run up, simultaneously preparing myself, mentally for a few practice jumps. I steady myself, start running, step on the plate and jump. They obviously don’t measure these. I repeat my routine twice more before they are ready for us. “Under-17 national selections for Long jump girls. 12 candidates but only 2 will be selected”, the voice booms through the speakers.
We had all practiced hard and waited in baited breath for this day. And it all came down to three jumps. “Nina Lawson”, the speaker literally roars. The sound of the go whistle follows my name, indicating its time I give it my first shot. I jump up, close my eyes for just a milli second and I see a vision of my dad’s eyes. It gives me a sudden boost of energy reeling me into my most confident state of mind.
I set my eyes on the pit as I run as fast as I can, step on the plate before flawlessly taking that huge leap and land in the pile of sand with a sigh. They measure as I walk back for my run up. Though my name followed by my jump resounds through the air, I pay no heed as a gear up for jump two. I just repeat my routine again and again.
6.43 m; I am later told is my best out of the three. These three jumps are probably my best jumps till date. Not just in length but the emotions enveloping them. It was like a leap of faith. And it felt just perfect.
Even if I hadn’t made it to the national team, today would have been one of the most prized days of my life. After the years of practice and hardwork invested in it, along with the hours of brooding over it, it all came down to that look in his eyes. The one that simply stated, better than any language probably would, that he has faith. Pure unwavering faith in me.

15 comments:

  1. Something most of us go through..put it very nicely! RED.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr. Piichu! :) You always read without me telling you also!! hehe! :) Thank you SO much!! :D really!

    Paarth!! :) awww! thanks!! :) :* :* :D BLUE.

    ReplyDelete
  3. its beautiful babe!! we all need to take that leap of faith more often to realize what we're capable of... this is just an amazing way of putting something across so simply.. im so proud!! :) :) :* :* love you to pieces... :*

    ReplyDelete
  4. In so many ways it really hard is to find those handful of people who do trust you, your abilities, your resolve and everything good about you. And it takes only those handful of people to make a difference. A lovely tribute to those people who stand back and watch, with unwavering faith. :) :)
    PS- Love the metaphor, the 'leap' of faith.

    ReplyDelete
  5. :) ... love it! ... like the way it ended esp .. the last para .. :) ...
    (like i said, you'll be one tough act to follow! ) :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. nee!! :D Thanks love for that sweet comment! :* love you!!

    Varun! :) Thanks for reading and I agree :) such people are rare. This is an ode of sorts :)

    Jona! :D AWW!! :D thanks for that last bit of your comment!! :* <3 :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sign me a copy of your book and remember I was the first to ask :D

    The Hu :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful thought beautifully expressed!..loved it!..love you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ditto Mittu's comment!!

    You express so well the feelings of completely different characters that I am beginning to think they are all on some level Avatars of you. While you write the story you are inside them feeling what they are feeling, thinking what they are thinking and putting it into words.

    Love you so much Mins!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lady! :D thanks you for reading :)

    Huz!! hehe will keep it in mind :) :)

    D!! awww!!!! i love you so much!! :*

    Mishi! Your comments so thoughtful and insightful :) :) :* Love you so much!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Loved it! Would you believe it I actlly cried!! I so relate to tht 'look' and felt it as passionately as you would've written this piece!

    Love ya! :*!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. very good feeling with an emotional insight.Well written in nice short,crisply succinct sentences.Keep up the good work,though you need to polish your craft a wee bit her e n there.
    Bakul Baldev

    ReplyDelete
  13. Vin!! :):) Thanks babe.. Thats a huge compliment! :) Sorry i made you cry :P hehe! :* :) Love ya! :*

    Uncle! :) Thank you for taking the time to read! and thanks for your valuable insight! :) will keep it in mind! :)

    ReplyDelete